This is a blog dedicated to Music Theory. If you come here to learn major and minor scales, triadic harmony, and tonal functionality, you are most definitely in the wrong place.

The three writers together make up two different things; the chat formally known as “Tittywank McFuckknuckle” and Dr. Theory Slap’d. That being said, we will all treat you with at least some level of disdain and condescension because we are all playing a character in this sweet game of life.


Q: Why are so mean?
A: Because anonymity does wonders for a personality. Also, please fuck off.

Q: Musically, what do you do?
A: Well, all three of us are composers to at least some extent. Antoine is primarily a pianist and string player, though music theory is his bae, Djesso is “yes,” and Buttons is a clarinetist and music therapist. Between the three of us, we miss percussion. Oh well, they weren’t important enough to include.

Q: What do you tend to compose, stylistically?
Antoine: Right now, I’ve been focusing on Late Romantic and Twentieth Century styles, such as Impressionism, Expressionism, and Modernism. I’ve done a bit of experimentation with Indeterminacy, Baroque, Minimalism, and Serialism outside of that. Of those, my favorite is probably Impressionism.

Q: Where can I find your music?
A: If we’re talking manuscripts, a trash can. If we’re talking about actual recordings, Antoine’s SoundCloud account “AMildlyInsaneTonalArchitect,” though I will also be setting up a second one with the same name as this blog to do examples in the textbooks and other stuff without using up valuable space. Once I get my shit together, Djesso and Buttons will be on here too.
These can be found here:
Dr. Theory Slap’d
Gimpybuttons Moistenminge III

Q: [insert entry level music theory here]?
A: I’d suggest either a textbook or Google. I yell at people enough about basic scale and chord construction in the real life, so I would prefer not doing it online to further irritate or bore myself. I’m a masochist, but not that much of one. I may answer the question if I’m feeling nice or you’re particularly talented at making a psychopath feel empathy, but don’t expect me to give much of an answer beyond “Google it.”

Q: What’s your favorite band?
A: The fuck? Get out of here with that nonsense.

Q: Who are your favorite composers to listen to?
Antoine: Oh god, why. Let’s start with Alexander Scriabin, Dmitri Shostakovich, Sergei Rachmaninoff, Sergei Prokofiev, Alan Hovhaness, Claude Debussy, Alban Berg, Arnold Schoenberg, Hugo Wolf, Olivier Messiaen, and basically everything else in this playlist – (https://open.spotify.com/user/amildlyinsanetonalarchitect/playlist/0bAo3AeCZOYomP0ZrmcaSZ).

Q: What is your favorite piece of music?
Antoine: … Oh god, why? That is probably the most difficult question for me to answer, but I will suggest listening to Weinberg, Messiaen, Scriabin, Debussy, and Shostakovich for a good primer on what I enjoy.

Q: What’s with the flowers?
A: Because I’m fucking fabulous. Also, flowers are some of my most favorite things to look at, besides trees, snow, and fractals in general. They have an a e s t h e t i c geometry that I rather enjoy.

Q: Why do you keep calling my husband and harassing him at three in the morning?
A: To establish dominance. He’s my bitch, and he needs to know it.